Everyone at some point has heard both sides of this argument. This timeless debate applies to so many questions, in particular I am bringing it up on behavior. My little man is either the sweetest child you have ever met or as I call him "the angry green hulk". He is never in between, its on or off. Usually you can see him before he becomes angry. And usually when that happens I am able to take him away from the situation or redirect him onto something else and he can recover. However I am not with him 100% of the time and he is in Pre-K. His behavior in the beginning was fine, as good as I expect any strong willed young boys would be. But ever since Christmas break he has only gotten maybe one good report from school a week.
He is pretty honest with me as to why he acts out, sometimes its because him and a friend are horsing around, as boys do, and it gets out of hand. Other times he just gets angry and doesn't know how to cope with his emotions. He told me tonight that "when they hurt my heart I get angry". That is what my five year old angel tells me.
Breaks. My. Heart.
I do believe him. Essentially his feelings are hurt and he doesn't know how to handle them. Sometimes his reactions are violent, in the sense of hitting or biting. And I am at a loss. He truly loves school.
As Mommy, I believe the issue is he needs more sleep. So tonight I have issued new rules: no evening play time (after dark), and a strict 8:30 bedtime. The bedtime is hard because I have to work until 7 o'clock most nights, but somethings got to give. Needless to say after I explained this to him, he was not happy. He knows that bad choices equal something he likes being taken away. I have also been practicing a coping mechanism of asking him to take a deep breath and counting to 10 when he his getting angry. It usually works when he is with me, but he forgets when I am not around.
All of this leads to the question: is his behavior led by his spirit or by our raising? A little of both maybe? Any of my teacher friends have any input they could lend? We are not the best parents and there is plenty we have room to improve on. When we argue do it away from the kids. I know that I have issues controlling my emotions at times, is he seeing this in me or did I somehow pass it down to him inherently? Do I need to put him in counseling? I don't want to be one of those blind to the world moms who is in denial of my child being able to do any wrong, but I don't want to be the hypochondriac mom who is diagnosing my son with illness he doesn't have. I just want him to be the best he can be. I want to give him the tools to succeed in life and be happy.
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